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That Sh!t Kreay!
One Bizarre New Year’s Eve With America’s Most Popular/Hated White-Girl Rapper

It’s hard to explain the raunchy, mystifying appeal of Kreayshawn, the teensy Bay Area rapper with a legion of tweensy online fans. So we sent the funniest, strangest white girl we’ve got on staff—GQ Tumblr co-captain  Lauren Bans—to spend New Year’s Eve with Kreay and her crew. The whole piece is damn funny, but this is the bit that Lauren came back from her trip talking about, so we thought we’d share it with you. It’s led us to re-christen Lauren as “The Prairie Dog Companion”:

Once the boys are gone, we learn the main reason Kreayshawn’s been so pensive this past hour. And it’s not that the pressure of her newfound, instant fame was bearing down on her with enormous psychic weight. As soon as the door shuts, she yells: “I have to POOP,” like a proud potty-trained toddler. This has clearly been on her mind for some time—when I’d originally asked if I could hang out in the room while she got dressed, she’d responded, “Are you going to write about how I pooped, ate nachos, then pooped again? Men won’t like that.” Her girlfriends are instantly behind her in this effort, no pun intended. Lady Tragik encourages, “C’mon, girl. Poop thug life,” and throws up the West Coast sign. Avian starts pumping her arm, in a sports-stadium chant: “Number two! Number two! Number two!” Kreay pumps her arm too, like an athlete encouraging the cheers. Then Avian puts on a mock-serious tone: “You prairie doggin’ ‘?”

Kreayshawn cracks up. I ask, “What’s ‘prairie doggin’?” Just trying to be a good reporter. She stops before the door to the bathroom: “You know how a prairie dog kind of pops his head out and then pops it back in?” She bends her spindly arms up like prairie-dog paws and demonstrates with her head bobbing up and down. “That’s what my shit is doing.” The bathroom door slides only halfway shut.

[Photograph by Christian Anwander]